His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
