I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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