Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
