so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
