before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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