I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
being pregnant is like rehab
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
