No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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