So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
