I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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