I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
