dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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