do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
