Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
No subtext here. People are naked.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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