Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
we're making bets on your personal life
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
