The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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