I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he wants to bone in the snuggie
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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