we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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