For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
and you fell through a lawn chair
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