Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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