Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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