hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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