Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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