Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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