girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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