He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
