listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
