I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
