WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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