i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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