That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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