it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
