Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
