I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
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