IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
