well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
