I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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