I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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