the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
My ass is underappreciated
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
