I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
