my mouth tastes like poor choices
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
