I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
