dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
