forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
