I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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