What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
