I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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