yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
