You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Randomize
