btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just invented taco cereal.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
