if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
