I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
