i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
