Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
