Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
