"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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