he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
