I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
