WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
