I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
