new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
