Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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